Posts

Broken Wakanda Relations

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It was all a dream...Biggie voice, that's all I could think this weekend when I awoke to a post about Luvvie Ajayi, cousin in my head being dragged on twitter.  I was very, very, very busy Friday feeding 99 football players after working half a day and doing other football Mom stuff until 2 AM but I didn't think I'd missed something so significant as this.  While I was being Mom and paying very little attention to social media (let's face it, I'm lucky to get to Twitter once a month anymore), Luvvie resurrected Tevin Campbell enough for black Twitter to drag her for something she didn't even say.

Y'all, the Queen of Soul's body hadn't even gone cold yet before folks were debating on who should do her tributes in upcoming award shows and who should play her in a movie.  I'm sensitive to all things surrounding death after experiencing one very close to home and after seeing people's insensitivity around it so I steered clear of the obligatory…

Alright 2018, Here We Are

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I spent January 1, 2018 in my pajamas and mostly watching Offspring, an Australian TV show I recently discovered on Netflix.

I left my bed very briefly to visit my sister's grave a few miles from my bed.

Yup, my sister passed away on August 10, 2017.  Stage 4 colon cancer. A few months shy of 3 years since being diagnosed with stage 3.  Colorectal cancer is a bitch and it's on the rise. 

2017 started with me training for my first marathon and watching my sister's health decline daily. Decline turned to knowing the end was coming and let me tell you, watching a loved one die for months does quite a number on your soul.

I started seeing a Therapist a month ago.

New year's day ended with my sons and I watching the Rose Bowl and Georgia pulling out a win.

So yeah, 2017 was quite the year.

I became a vegetarian in June. People keep asking me why and it was before What The Health scared everyone. It was time I guess and subconsciously, watching someone you love's organs…

Divorce Vows

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Did y'all watch Marlon on NBC? It was so good! The premise is that Marlon and ex wife Ashley are divorced and raising their kids.  Marlon is way comfortable and always at the house and basically wants his cake and to eat it too; all out here being bachelor up in these streets but still wants to come home to his family when he feels like it. You know the usual....man stuff.

It's actually a cute show. On the season finale he tries to take Ashley, his ex wife on a date on their anniversary. For the sake of the kids, Ashley has been going along with most of these shenanigans because they are good friends.  Ashley says she doesn't want to celebrate with him this year but Marlon lures her to the restaurant where they had their first date anyway.  And they have the following exchange:

Marlon: "I'm sorry if in our marriage I didn't follow through with promises but in divorce I promise you I will."

Ashley: "And I promise you I'll hold you to that."

Facing Giants

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I turned 40.

Life happened and I faced more challenges than I can recount. I really thought it would be smooth sailing after 40, HA!!! What's that saying about making plans? Yeah that.

If you follow me outside real life and know a little about me then you know I am a runner. I laced up 4 years ago and haven't looked back.  I couldn't run 2 blocks when I started then before you know it I was running 5Ks, 10Ks, 15Ks, 10 milers and half marathons and enjoyed it.

Something else happened after entering this new decade.  I felt a shift in my mind.  I remember the first time I ran and thought there is no way I can run 3 miles but I stuck with it and did! 

I ran my first 5K and ran many more. I looked at my run buds and thought they were crazy for wanting to run anything more. Then came the shift, I thought yeah I can run 6 miles.  And I did.  The more I ran the more my body became acclimated and the more upping the miles didn't feel like Goliath.  I got up to 13.1 miles and st…

Energy, Babies, Birthdays, The Middle and 40 things I've Lived Through

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I love babies.  I love their new baby smell, their little bodies, their cries, the peace that fills your soul when you hold them, their little eyes, the way they grip your thumb with their teeny weeny hands. Even when they cry I love soothing them and assuring them that everything will be just fine. I almost considered being a volunteer at the Hospital to rock the babies in some ward that needed it but then overthought it when my mind got away from me and found itself in that "What if I get attached to one and I come back one day and the baby is no longer there not because the baby got well but because the baby didn't?"  There are things I have known about myself for many decades and one is that my heart simply cannot handle that.  In an instant I saved myself from the imagined heartbreak all the while robbing myself from the delight that rocking those babies would have brought me.  I am all kinds of complex and I made peace with that a very long time ago.

I love babies…

Love and Ringtones

It's still the month of love, right?

You know what good love makes you do? It makes you want to carry that feeling with you that that person gives you when you're not with them.

You look for a reminder throughout the day of that person to bring a smile to your face or make your heart skip a beat.

Some folks stalk Facebook profiles, go back 238 weeks on Instagram, heck go to their LinkedIn profiles and see what they were doing in 1999.  I just don't have time for that so I do the next best thing, I pick a ringtone.

Music is life to me and I am a lyric person so a lot of thought goes into picking the perfect ringtone.

There was Ledisi's "I Blame You" when I finally stuck my toe back in the dating pool and found someone to hang out with longer than a day or 2.  This one actually stuck and after a month of being a couple I went ahead and assigned the ringtone.  The lyrics were exactly what I was feeling and it was because of him that I was smiling more and in a …

Twenty Fifteen - And Another One

I made it through another year's journey, God kept me here and for that I am grateful especially since I lost a dear friend this year and my dear cousin Jane lost her husband just weeks ago.

Started off the year on a high note in love. Beautiful, soul stirring, get me on all levels love.  We had settled into a beautiful relationship and I just knew we were in it for the long haul. Then came the shattering of it all. I wasn't even mad. Just grateful I hadn't wasted years pouring into what would no longer be after just 6 months. Wished him well and sent him right along his merry way. I thanked him for the memories and appreciated the purpose he served.

Cancer.

Yeah, the year also started off with me being the chemo partner.  12 rounds and radiation. That chemo room taught me so much humility.  This thing does not discriminate.  I watched a couple that looked no older than 25.  He was the patient and she snuggled close on that chemo chair under a soft blanket as they watched …