From Boys to Men to Boys Again

I come from a long line of men who take this manhood thing seriously.

Men who know that they are born to be providers.  Men who will go to the ends of the earth to ensure that their families are provided for and who will get physically sick when they can't.

Men who hold their mothers on the highest pedestal and do whatever it takes to make sure their mothers are smiling until their last breath.

Times change and we evolve with them but what I am witnessing lately is blowing my whole mind.

While it was not expected for women to work outside of the home 40 years ago, mostly all women choose to work now until they have kids.  Even then, most return to work once the kids start school.  This is tied to the cost of living and how much higher it is now than it was 40 years ago but more importantly it is tied to self worth. 

Some men seem to think our working and bringing in money means they can take a back seat now.  Um, no Sir.  What it means is that we are relieving your burden. That's it.  This whole new age way of thinking from some men folk has me rethinking this whole coupling thing.  Uncoupling and going at it alone seems more attractive.

I have met grown men who will gladly watch you walk out the door and go make the coint while they stay at home and watch Murray and Jerry. Girl, what?  And the kicker is some women are so happy just having a warm body to sleep next to at night that they accept it.

Now see, this is where I make the left turn.  Y'all can take the right turn all by your lonesome.

Don't mistake it, I'm down for you but I need to see some effort and your effort needs to match mine and exceed it.  You need to show me what I can't show myself or there is no point.  If we go out to a restaurant for a meal and I pay the bill, then I took myself out on a date and you just happened to be there.  It's that warm body scenario again.

I hear men say women are too independent and don't want us to do anything for them.

LIES!

Women want to be courted.  Old school courted, not this foolishness of meeting at Starbucks for a latte.  Women want a man that makes plans and don't expect to be led all the time.  How about you hit me with a "Baby be ready at 7 I'm picking you up and we are going to......"  All this you plan something is old.  Figure out what I like and plan something around that, ok?

Yes we are now in positions where we can fund whatever we want but we don't want to if we don't have to.

No one is here trying to take all you have, but goodness, by design men pay for dates and things of that nature.

I know you've met the chicks who ask for the mortgage, light bill, car note and 24 inch Brazilian to be paid for on the 1st date but know that's not everyone.

There are those of us who want nothing from you other than the fundamentals.  A meal once in a while, a movie.  Some of the best dates I ever went on were free or cost very little now that I think about it.  There was a picnic in the park. That long walk Jill Scott sings about is not just a song.

Now when we get into a situation where we share living space then yeah it's time relieve some of your burden.  You will no longer have to pay for everything cause I'm here to help you out.  What I'm not here for to fund everything and have you quit your job because I can take care of you.

There in nothing in my genetic make up that would comfortably allow me to do that Sir.  And you moving in because you can get rid of your rent/mortgage payment won't work either Sir.

The first thing boys are taught about being men is to be providers.  Never ever let a woman take care of you when you are able bodied.  You take care of her son.  Things happen and I have no problem taking care of someone when they are down but coming into a situation expecting it, negative.

The minute able bodied grown men allow women to take care of them, they become boys again.

While I think warm bodies serve their purpose, I won't be a fool to one.  Pillows, I am told, work just as well.


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