When I said my wedding vows 21 years ago I knew it was a forever thing.  No one was more surprised than me when it turned out not to be.  Divorce was never in my plans but there I was leaving with just my two kids, our clothes and no job ten years ago.  Since then I have become a whole new unmarried person.  I've learned so many lessons and become a person I love so much.  I wake up and high five myself every single day for becoming such a grown woman who knows exactly what she wants.

The pity society has placed on unmarried people is so dumb.  Society wants you to smile through the tears and accept things that are less than just so you can say you're married.  People treated me like a sad, soulless shell of a woman just because I chose to exit my marriage; the very marriage that no longer served me.  They asked me shit like, "Are you sure?" which was such an insult to my intelligence because who makes such a major decision without being sure?  I knew I was making t…

Parenting: The Young Adult Years

No one is more shocked than me that I have an 18-year-old and a 20-year-old. They're both in college.  I love seeing them grow into the amazing human beings they have become and having a front-row seat to their evolution is my favorite thing.

We are inundated with a plethora of information every single day and I am fascinated with what our brains choose to retain.  Even more fascinating is how that information chooses to show up exactly when you need it.

Years ago I discovered Bassey Ikpi on these here internets.  I remembered her from Def Poetry and was happy to follow her thoughts on Twitter and Facebook.  Her writing grips your whole soul no matter the subject.   She described her bipolar disorder in such a way that I took notice.  She made it such a real thing and gave it a human face.  Because of her, I gave time to stories I read about any mental illness and didn't see it as a thing anymore.  I thought the purpose of my discovery was just to have another magical black g…

As The World Keeps Turning.....

I made an entire plan for 2020 back in March. A step by step plan y'all. The plan included steps I was going to take for the rest of 2019 (yes, even though it was only March) to get myself situated and exactly where I needed to be in the new stage of my life as an empty nester.

I figured since both kids would be in college, I could actually go back and get my life on track.  My life wasn't off track but my main focus had been my kids and every single decision I made revolved around them.  Where we lived, what I spent on, what I bought for myself, everything was about them.  You know, parenting 101.  I was excited to live anywhere in the city I chose since school districts were no longer a thing for me and moving in 2020 was at the top of my empty-nester getting it together for 2020 list.  To be clear, I wasn't under the illusion that parenting for me was ending, I just knew that they didn't need me day to day like they used to and I needed to refocus on things parentin…

Let that Magic Back In

I am 43 years old and currently, without any shame at all, I am being guided through my day to day life by a 4-year-old sassy cutie patootie who has become my Yogi/Guru/Sensei/Super Soul Sunday Episode/Iyanla Fix My Life all in one.

My best friend Porsha has been sending me pictures of her brother's cute girls for months now. her lil brother who I remember being a 5-year kid when we were in college.  Talk about an entire head trip. Shout out to Nemo for one my favorite songs. Porsha sent a video a couple of weeks ago of a wonder child dancing her lil heart out and I haven't gotten enough of her since.

Her name is ZaZa and she is quite the fireball and very expressive dancer. The video Porsha sent me is of ZaZa asking for her jam to be played with her singing a few lines and asking if her parent remembers the song so they can play it. Her lil voice asks, "Member? I got that water BOOM BOOM." The beat drops and ZaZa's little body comes alive and the rest is intern…

Bad Ass Mwabz

I started running 6 years ago in March 2013.  At first, I was fully content meeting my Black Girls Run sole sisters once a week on Wednesdays and running 3 miles with them.  I watched them discuss upcoming races after the run and thought they were in a lane I had no business being in.  Running with them was fellowship and I looked forward to my Wednesdays because of them; I'd catch up on their lives and they would catch up on my life between Wednesdays.  I was newly divorced raising 2 kids and one of the ladies always had an encouraging word or would tell me about resources that got them through their tough days and helped raised their kids.  Eventually, their lane didn't seem so foreign anymore and I signed up for my first 5K that Fall, a 10K followed and the following Spring, I ran my first Half Marathon.
My family watched my journey and loved to tell people that I was a runner.  They told them I was crazy for doing it too but their pride in me made up for that.  My sister …

Broken Wakanda Relations

It was all a dream...Biggie voice, that's all I could think this weekend when I awoke to a post about Luvvie Ajayi, cousin in my head being dragged on twitter.  I was very, very, very busy Friday feeding 99 football players after working half a day and doing other football Mom stuff until 2 AM but I didn't think I'd missed something so significant as this.  While I was being Mom and paying very little attention to social media (let's face it, I'm lucky to get to Twitter once a month anymore), Luvvie resurrected Tevin Campbell enough for black Twitter to drag her for something she didn't even say.

Y'all, the Queen of Soul's body hadn't even gone cold yet before folks were debating on who should do her tributes in upcoming award shows and who should play her in a movie.  I'm sensitive to all things surrounding death after experiencing one very close to home and after seeing people's insensitivity around it so I steered clear of the obligatory…

Alright 2018, Here We Are

I spent January 1, 2018 in my pajamas and mostly watching Offspring, an Australian TV show I recently discovered on Netflix.

I left my bed very briefly to visit my sister's grave a few miles from my bed.

Yup, my sister passed away on August 10, 2017.  Stage 4 colon cancer. A few months shy of 3 years since being diagnosed with stage 3.  Colorectal cancer is a bitch and it's on the rise. 

2017 started with me training for my first marathon and watching my sister's health decline daily. Decline turned to knowing the end was coming and let me tell you, watching a loved one die for months does quite a number on your soul.

I started seeing a Therapist a month ago.

New year's day ended with my sons and I watching the Rose Bowl and Georgia pulling out a win.

So yeah, 2017 was quite the year.

I became a vegetarian in June. People keep asking me why and it was before What The Health scared everyone. It was time I guess and subconsciously, watching someone you love's organs…